OMG, Roswell. My first question to myself is, whatever was I thinking? Second, how fast can I get back home? WE miss our beds, our bath and having clean feet. However the joy of seeing our new country overrides the boredome on the road and once we hit a town or even a bump in the road we get quite excited…if only we have tele transporters………

Today was the twilight zone of driving…..hours upon hours on the road. Hours upon hours of flat boring non descript road. Hours upon hours of Kaizie asking if we are there yet or talking about his one and only topic of conversation (a particular trait of ‘Sperger kids) which is hunting and his new found love of it since our new friend in Phoenix took him coyote hunting! God bless America and Derrick!

I have to say the van is our little oasis and it is great to be able to wash whenever we want (it has a sink with water), cook whenever we want and sleep wherever we want….and the van has been amazing…I have only ever owned bombs so to have a car that doesn’t end up with us sitting by the side of the road waiting for the steam to dissipate is pure luxury. And the money we save in not paying ridculously expensive fees for rooms we are in for a few hours only. Escape campervans we love you….by the way….I’m not sure if I mentioned but this company is run by kiwis especially for aussies and kiwis abroad..so if you wanna get away in the USA these are the peeps to seek out.

NOw today was definitely the strangest..no coincidence surely as we head into UFO central…. eventually after one of those days where each minute seems to be suspended in time, we finally arrived in Roswell. Wow. It really is a hole – and not just cause the aliens crashed and made a crater in the earth 70 years ago. It’s definitely the town that time forgot. It seems we arrived a few days early as the town is getting ready for the annual UFO festival. Wow. Pet parades, alien costume competitions, floats and special guests from d grade actors (and that’s being kind) who have played bit parts in films and TV shows I have never heard of. What a shame we won’t be here for that barrel of laughs. People have spared no expense in decorating the town..literally…NO EXPENSE!

We did have a laugh in the alien memorabilia shops and tomorrow we visit the UFO museum and the art gallery which Kai is actually looking forward to (anything but endless road). He can enjoy the bits he is into but the bits in between are like pulling your toenails out one by one.

All the hours I spend on the road I think about what I can/will do when Kai goes to camp ….another thing he talks endlessly about bless him…he told me tonight in a very grown up voice, “I don’t think you understand just how excited I am about going to camp mummy!” I know I know..it is the highlight of his year…boy time!!

Anyway I was looking in the mirror as I was plucking the hairs from…well just plucking (oh for some laser treatments!!!) and I thought I know what I should do! One of the first things I am going to do (and film) is CHEAP home made beauty treatments….seriously, not everyone can afford botox and laser peels and resta..whatever it’s called…..but there has to be someone doing home made natural treatments guaranteed to make you look and feel younger and more refreshed without having to sell a kidney to pay for them.

I’m excited to get back to LA to get started on planning my month of Mojodom. I’ve had so many emails from people saying they too need to find theirs and they can’t wait to go on this journey with me. I also can’t wait to get a pedi and go for a run and get ready for my next book which is coming out in August so it is hard core workout wench the second I get back. I’ve not worked out in 7 months since the accident…I am going to die the first few days. I am still waiting on my web guy to get back to me with a promo code that works so everyone can get a FREE membership to healthy body club so they can do the six week body blitz with me….. so maybe Stephen Steneker from GROX you can return my emails???? But either way I am psyched and hope others are too. It’s amazing what you can achieve in 6 weeks. HEALTHILY I might add!!!

The one good thing about getting out of LA is that my lungs have finally been able to loosen up and for the first time in five months I don’t wake up with the “man living under the bridge” cough. So hopefully it means my fitness will return quickly…and of course there is muscle memory so my body should get in shape pretty quickly. I do love a challenge and I can’t wait to get that addictive high from a really good, hard workout. LOVE IT!

Oh and how is my Oprah pitch going? Well, Confidential (usually a “mag” that delights in printing not the most flattering/truthful of articles about me) actually wrote a surprisingly supportive piece with a link too (thank u Annette) so hopefully the numbers will get up but to be honest I’m not too troubled. I really should have put my video up weeks ago but I had multiple attempts at editing and uploading a fancy reel when in reality I should have just done what I should always just do – Be ME! Simple, real and heartfelt (and enough with the simple bit thank u very much….).

I never ever read blogs casue they do my head in and are usually written by inarticulate bogans who can’t even spell but I had a momentary lapse of reason and made the mistake of reading the comments people left underneath the article and I really don’t understand a)why people can be so nasty and b)how tragic their lives must be to have to spend their time writing nasty comments about people they don’t even know.

Anyway for those who are not aware : I DO have a job…..I am an author amd I do work for various people here but I just keep that business to myself! I also do work for another company helping kids at risk but I choose to not talk about that here either…..And for those ill informed judgemental morons who think they know everything: my son was not taken out of school to just tour around he simply switched systems. We left during school holidays in Australia and he went straight into school when we arrived! And it is currently summer vacation so we are just enjoying ourselves after four months of hard core study.

And since when was it illegal to chase a dream or try to make a better life for your child? How sad to have such a constricted view of life. Why don’t you and Hitler go and round some people up because they might not look and act like you and you think you are superior and/or in some misguided belief that we should all be lemmings or clones and that we should all behave and live as you do. Sad sad sad. I wouldnt be any of you for a million dollars.

I know that what I have done with my life and my books has helped countless people live better lives. I’m not perfect - far from it but I do try to be as good as I can be at any given time and I help as many people as I can doing so. I have walked beside women in their last days of obesity and run beside them in triathlons years later and they have become good friends I consider my family of fintess buddies. And had I gone away, shut up, got a real job and just not bothered to dream and take risks and stick with things when everyone else around me had given up then I too would be wallowing in self pity and hopeless anonymity never having done anything with my life and would probably spend mu days writing nasty vicious comments on blogs casue thats as creative as I coud get. There are definitely more talented people than me who sit in their bedsits resenting my highs and delighting in my lows but when I leave this earth, no matter what happens, I know I have tried my hardest at doing what makes my heart sing and even if I have helped one other persn live a better life or not make the same mistakes I have made then I have done MY JOB! Who says what you bring home in your pay packet is a true reflection of your self worth. My pay comes in the cuddles from my son and the countless times he says he is happy or loves his new school or loves our new home or believes in his talent and talks of what he will do when he is grown up believing that he can do anything he puts his mind to. That is priceless.

Anyway I digress…(breathe Ajay, breathe) I was talking about this fun jaunt (in the USA school holidays) and my attempt to be a part of this Oprah show. The top five get to the next stage and even though the number one video is 8 million votes (and he is sooooo funny I would definitely watch his show), the number 5 is only 100,000 votes. My only issue is that some aussie votes don’t register but some must cause I have got over 2000 in the two days my video has been up. And in the rules it says that the producers can choose as many online entrants to go to the next stage as they want so who knows? If it’s meant to be it’s meant to be and you just never know when something might pay off……..I got the hosting job on Loser because a publicist had read my book and seen me on Sunrise years before. Ryan Seacrest says that you have to try everything in LA because you just never know which door you knock on will open. And in the meantime I have two new books coming out both in Australia and here in the USA so it is about to get very busy and very crazy….just the way I love it!

Am hoping this link will work as I have had some issues…….

http://myown.oprah.com/audition/index.html?request=video_details&response_id=12976&promo_id=1

Anyway, more from the road tmrw…..and still have to tell you about the Orange County auditions, the sleepover night raiding Bandicoot incident in Sedona, San Diego, Mexico and New Mexico. Tomorrow we plan to head to Colorado on the long and winding road back home.

UFO museum here we come………….shoooooozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzbotttttttt!!!!